Bending The Knee

There are those times when I feel like God brings along something simple to speak profound truth to me, or to just wake me up to the state of my own heart. One of these small moments happened this Sunday. We had a few friends over for a meeting and I was greeting people, then rushing off to add the finishing touches on the snack/tea table. One sweet friend of mine followed me into the kitchen, grinning from ear to ear with a bag behind her back. I was thinking she had brought some of her local foods, which she's promised to teach me to cook. Instead, she got down on her knees before me and presented me with a small baby item which I had lent her months back. The absolute gratitude on her face and in her jubilant expression caught my heart. She gave me a humbly written thank you note to go with it, but nothing will make me forget her physical posture of thankfulness. I've had many thoughts rumbling around in my heart since then. How often do I give thanks with such humility and gratitude? How bent am I toward taking the time to thank my Daddy God, and others with a sincere and worshipful heart? On the flip side, I've found my heart frustrated when others take advantage, aren't thankful or appreciative. After experiencing "true" thankfulness from my friend, I've realized how often I have made it a habit of flippantly throwing out a "thanks!" to one who's labored on my behalf. I have become that person that frustrates me -quickly giving thanks, and not really saying it wholeheartedly. How about you? Where do you find your heart being drawn in this area of thankfulness? Join me in repenting for our ungrateful and flippant hearts, turning them to giving thanks to our God -to physically bring our hearts and bodies into a position of humble thankfulness. "What a wretched man am I! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God-through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:24-25

Come unto Me

It had been a long week. The heat had sufficated us each day and night, keeping us tired, perspiring, edgy, and weak. There is something about creation dying and withering that pulls my soul away from worship. It hangs on me, like a garment. It is like a bell, sending out its daunting gong, proclaiming, "Wear the curse." "Wear death." Then I shake my head to clear the tolling bell and look to those glorious heavens. I'd pray for rain, hoping, longing, waiting.

God then gave me a little gift. A reminder that He hasn't forsaken us in the midst of the unbearable sun that spares no one of its wrath. Keith and I were out for a late walk, just around dusk. We were still sweating, but the sun was down from the sky, giving us a bit of a break. We came upon one of these trees. The beauty from afar was quite stunning. We both looked in awe and just smiled. As Keith plucked off a branch, I breathed in its delightful aroma. Incredible. The awe within me was for the life that was in my hands. Living, breathing, fragrant blossoms. It struck me that even though it is like a dessert here, amid the dust and cracking ground, there is enough moisture in the ground to produce this miracle. I brought my branch of hope home with me and put it in a vase on my table. The boys all inhaled, one by one, also savoring its life breath. Elliana and I plucked off one small blossom each, putting them in our hair and smiling at one another's 'glamour'.


These flowers sat on my table for a few days, and kept my heart open, full, hopeful. Once God opened my eyes to this profound beauty, I noticed all the flowering trees were in full bloom. How had I missed it before? Were they aware of something I was missing? Were they expecting rain more then I was? Were they able more than I to produce beauty amidst dry death? I was focused on death. On the dying. On dust...Yes, I am but dust, yet if He creates and cares for these flowers in the midst of death, will he not care for me? If He can elicit beautiful worship from these trees during this season, can not I also reveal His beauty in the dry heat of life? Can He not bring me life and refreshment in this season? Truly he will, if I have eyes to see and a heart to respond. He is more than rain to me!

"Come unto me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest....you will find rest for your souls." Matt 11:28, 29b

New Challenges, New Year

Through the years, December has always been THE month for gas shortages. As usual, November rolled around and we couldn't find gas for cooking. When our cylinder ran out at the end of November, we were thankful we had found a friend leaving the country who gave us the remainder of her gas. Whew, I was off the hook for a bit longer. But, then I realized if I cooked the way I normally did, the gas would run out right around Christmas time. Smack in the middle of baking season. Not cool. So, what to do... I then gulped and realized it was time to grow up and learn a skill I had always dodged. Cooking on a segeri (local charcoal stove).


This was my first try. It takes at least 30-45 minutes to get these coals bright hot! The "charcoal" is locally made out of wood and sometimes hasn't been made correctly. If it is poor charcoal, it snaps, pops, and burns too fast. I stood there with a plastic bowl, waving it to keep the flames growing and the coals spreading.


I have watched women cook on little charcoal stoves for years, admiring their ability to roast nuts, make beans boil for hours, and even use the charcoal inside of an ancient iron for smoothing out the wrinkles in our clothes. Did I think I was able to do it to? Seriously, after 7 1/2 years of living here, I had avoided cooking on one, let alone lighting one. You may think it's like grilling out all the time, which it is to some degree, yet more complex and a bit more intimidating. Do I just place my saucepan with a plastic handle right on top of the fire or what? To some of you, this is a giggle. To others, you understand my inner turmoil. Life as I knew it in the kitchen was forever altered. The learning curve was big, as I had a hungry family to feed!



These pictures showed my first of many lunches and dinners I made on those three little sigeri's. I learned to like it after some time. I was able to enjoy the fun of cooking outside, and relating to all my Ugandan friends in the hardships of waiting patiently for the segeri to light! I had many cheerleaders and not too many chuckles (at least to my face). My friend Fiona told me, "Auntie, you are now officially in Uganda!" After all these years, have I not been "in" Uganda? Not really. The point was "you really can be like us". I am still learning, and know that Daddy God still has many humbling lessons coming my way in the year 2012.

Created for Relationship

I've had these thoughts stewing around in my mind for some time, especially after studying womanhood throughout the first half of this year, and hearing our theme of "Relationship" throughout the entire year. It all starts with the question, "Why are we here?" It can apply to any aspect of life -mothering, parenting, serving, schooling, teaching, working, etc. Our cultures continually communicate we are in a job or a season of life for ourselves, to feel good, to gain success and fame, to climb the corporate ladder. But is that why God set us on this earth and gave us a task to do? Deep down, our spirits say no. We were created for much more the the temporal. What then? His glory is the greatest answer, but the one that follows is the answer I've been thinking through. Relationship.
We worship our Creator through giving Him our lives, and this is done through relationship. What makes our faith different from the world if it were not for our God-man, who came to this earth, related to mankind in relationship, offering life eternal through faith in him and in relationship?

What are you thoughts? Do you long for relationship? To be known and to know others? Please, share your thoughts.

Small pleasures

Here are a few joys I savor as a mom of my 4 little ones!

Isaiah was begging me to do fingerpaints. His face says it all.



This guy Noah loves art. He went and found his own prop to make his picture more creative.


Elliana's work includes make-up.


Ellie's 'big girl bed' and our second favorite book called "McDuff Saves the Day". P.S."Caps for Sale" is her favorite.


I love how kids don't need a lot to bond and have fun! This moment was "enriched" by the joy of jumping on a table!


Remember those forts you used to build with anything your parents would allow you to use?


Ellie's fort, compliments of Elisha.


I am a blessed Mama! I have creative, happy, animated (Yup! We don't lack any of that in our home!), smart, loving and affirming children! If I could only tell you how many hugs, "I love you Mama" comments and laughs my days are full of! I hope you've enjoyed a little peek into my simple pleasures.

Those busy little ants...

With bleary eyes each morning, I've poured my coffee and raised the lid to my sugar bowl to get a teaspoon of sugar. You'd think after all these years of living in Uganda, I'd remember and get over the shock of seeing all those creepy little black ants, scurrying around in my sugar. Actually, they're not so little. Those are big black ants that share my sugar. Those little guys are quite faithful. Over the years, I have attempted to discourage them by moving the sugar bowl to different places in the kitchen. But after my sugar bowl has rested in its new home for a few days, I have discovered one or two ants. And one or two ants turn into five, and then ten after a few more days. Keith has even tried to remember to put my sugar bowl into a ziplock bag at night. It worked for a few mornings... Then one day I took the bowl out of the bag and found a few ants still faithfully gathering sugar. I laughed as I asked Keith if he had checked the bowl before putting it in the ziplock! They are persistent, and little do they know there is a sugar crisis in Uganda right now. Do they know that the sugar is precious?
I have asked God to show me what I can learn from these creatures, rather then just be annoyed at their presence in my kitchen. I think the big thing is that I can learn from God in any situation, if I'm willing to ask. It's so easy for me to grow weary, annoyed, frustrated, and loose patience with my present circumstances, which can be MUCH greater then just ants in my sugar bowl! Faithfulness, thankfulness, persistence, and seeking after that which is precious, just like my sugar is, is worthy of my time and energy. Thankfulness has been my biggest lesson these days, and this isn't a lesson easily pounded into my heart. When I am looking for things to lift my thanks to God, His joy fills my heart. Wow, what a concept! This has been a missing piece of the puzzle within me for so long! How many things have my eyes actually passed over because I didn't see, couldn't see what there was to be thankful for? How many opportunities have I missed to engage with people or my precious children, because I was too focused on my circumstances rather then rejoice in the simple things around me? Oh, the sheer joy that comes from our Daddy God after having my eyes opened to all the good gifts He's given me! Like my daughter's soft face, kissably sweet, a friend's warm embrace, a bird's song, sung just for his Creator, lightening on a morning horizon, Elisha's heart, the popping of roasting peanuts, and God's peace in a tumultuous situation. This simple things can be missed each day, or they can be noticed, my heart turned in warm thankfulness to God. He is so good.
Then those black ants, their faithfulness and enjoyment of a few grains of my sugar, become something I sit back and think about rather then gripe about. His Word is precious and contains truths that transforms!!
" So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." Colossians 2:6-7

“We Carried His Body in Pieces…”

This was yesterday’s quote that caught my heart.  Let me explain.  Every Institute class, we take three days, and then some, to hear each person’s personal story from their childhood to the present day.  These days are so important for each class, as they build vulnerability, trust, and compassion for one another.  I am always struck by the brutality, violence and suffering that the vast majority of our students have endured in their lifetime.  The quote above was by one young woman, sharing the story of her father’s murder, planned out by her dad’s second wife.  The wife got soldiers to murder him, which put fear into the hearts of the children. They didn’t go search for the body for 3 days, and then when they finally felt they were no longer a target, they found him partially devoured by dogs and “ We carried his body in pieces” for a quick burial.  She carried her father’s arm, and when her tears flowed and her body sobbed, I sobbed too.

Her story did not end in tragedy though –She ended with great joy and hope. She even said “I’m not the youngest in my family, but I appear to be so because when I return home I am like a flower! My other sisters look old with sin, but I am beautiful!” I still find myself smiling at this woman’s words!

These stories, these real life testimonies are sometimes so hard for my human mind to grasp.  I want to reconcile the suffering in my mind, to understand how one can endure so much.  I go back to one of my favorite phrases, “But God…” Not in the “but” that is like a child, asking for a second chance.  But God, in the sense of “I AM” who I am. Make sense?

It’s common for our Ugandan students to think that we from the West have never gone through much suffering, until they sit and listen to their fellow classmates’ stories.  This class, we have a western woman with GREAT pain and loss in her childhood, and then even into her adulthood.  You would never know it, as joy beams from her face.  She’s lost parents, sister, and her first born child, carried to term.  How is it even possible for this beautiful soul to carry such joy? But God.

Within the last year alone I’ve counted 11 women who have been either sexually abused or raped in their lifetime. There is nothing in this world I abhor more then hearing of one of God’s daughters being taken advantage of. I’ve watched many of them unfold, build trust, learn to forgive and let go of anger towards their oppressors.  This isn’t an easy journey, let alone one I take lightly as I walk with some of them.  But GOD is loving, active, tender, and His compassion abounds to all! 

I love being a part of God’s work. His story. His love.  Without Him, I would be nothing.  Without Him, I’d be in slavery, bondage, and wallowing in my own pit of  self-destruction. These stories aren’t mine, they’re His.  Each story is of great price and  incredible value.  I wrote a song when I was newly married that had a chorus like this:

“Your story is of great price –which is the story of Christ; So let down your fears and tell me what He’s done. Tell me of His death, tell me how He rose again and changed your life.”

That’s His business –changing lives, changing hearts. But God…

Here are some of the Institute ladies I had the privilege of knowing in the last class!