Sunday, January 25, 2015

Growing Young

Almost thirteen years ago this young girl of twenty-one flew to Uganda...So full of ideas, fears, hopes, expectations, innocence, and negativity.  She would slip on her double knotted running shoes and jog on the same dusty pot-holed paths I find myself running on today.  Where has that girl gone?

I am no longer twenty-one and my skin shows little wrinkle lines to prove it.  Lines where smile and joy meet my face, reminders of precious moments not wasted.  My heart and body bear the marks of carrying and delivering five little hearts and one in the making. Thank you Jesus.

Children born over the last decade now reach from my knees to my shoulders, no longer tiny souls who simply demand. Hallelujah.

Expectations, ideals and negativity have been broken wide and have given birth to a deeper security, an anchored hope, grounded on the Rock. He is the faithful One.

Fears that once plagued me daily are now a rarity, as God has graciously used my husband to lead me into daily, moment-by-moment confession through my fears. Little did I know I was my own worst enemy. He carries the weight on His shoulders.

In looking back, I am struck by the profound change God has made in my heart. He has given me a joy and even anticipation to grow older, to lose myself in Him. The words of Jesus echo in this heart, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it (Matt 16:24-25)."

As I lean in and lose myself, He clothes me in grace to eagerly anticipate years, decades with Him, if He so chooses.  In the words of David, "Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed (Ps. 34:5)."  His radiance is my glory, even as my earthly body gives way to the curse.

I can now say without hesitation, "I am a life-giving woman, beautifully made in His image." He is good to me. I am not perfect. But I am secure in Christ. I grow young as I grow old in Him.

1 comment:

  1. Lovely! I have been thinking about anchored hope a lot lately, such a secure and joy-producing thought! Congratulations on your new one forming and the ever increasing radiance of your sweet face. The Lord bless you guys!